Mail-Order Groom

by Lisa Low

           after Ali Wong

I flip through a catalog
           of mail-order grooms.
I want one from a colonizing
           country, the whiter the better.
I want the hair & disposition
           of a golden retriever. I want
money sprouting from his follicles
           like Rapunzel. I want him strong
& soft as a rope of hair. Like toilet
           paper. I want his last name
changed to mine. I want a buy one,
           give one: another white husband
for a friend. When he comes to me,
           I want him to kneel between
my legs like he’s expecting
           to represent his entire race.

Lisa Low was born and raised in Maryland. Her poems have appeared or are forthcoming in Nashville Review, Entropy, Cream City Review, The Journal, Vinyl, and elsewhere, and her nonfiction is forthcoming in Gulf Coast. A graduate of Indiana University’s MFA program, she is a PhD candidate and Yates Fellow at the University of Cincinnati. For more, visit